The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't turn off my feet"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
