I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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