Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
