Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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