It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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