Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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