Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
