Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
