Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
