listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
