i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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