Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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