You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
