Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
