is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
