Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
