Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
