DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
