i wish there were pregnant emoticons
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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