I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
