fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
