im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
