Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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