TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
