Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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