i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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