I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
