I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
