Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
youre lurking in front of me
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
