That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
