Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
