smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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