It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
