I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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