you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
