Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
