i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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