He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
