and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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