I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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