I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
