Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
