it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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