apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
