Pants 0. Shit 1.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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