a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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