Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
