he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
