Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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