So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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