Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
