obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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