If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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