i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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