I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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