dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
