If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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