I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
