I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
