people are starting to question the shark bite story
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
