Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
