my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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