ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Girls should come with a carfax report
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
