I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
